March 27, 2009

Pharmaceutical Grudge Match

There are two problems with having a cold. One is that you don't feel like doing that much, except lying around and watching television. The other is that you lie around and watch television.

And since I am watching television, I must tell you, I am confused.

There's a drug out there that men can take that men take to help them urinate. There is a drug out there that women take that prevents them from urinating.

Now I am not making light of the fact that there are real medical reasons why one might need one of those or the other... and that for those that suffer those conditions, those are real problems. But you have to admit, it is rather strange that there are two drugs whose primary purpose is to prevent what the other one does.

This is not a new area of interest for me. About twenty years ago I worked in radio, where I was the studio engineer - and this meant listening to a lot of late night talk radio programs, and inserting the commercials into the broadcasts. I always thought it was interesting that you would get ads for ozone generators and antioxidants in the same program. And when I was in grad school, my thesis advisor would regularly direct me to the dietary supplement aisle at the grocery store, where I might find just the right mood enhancer (guarana) that one might need to complete your thesis as quickly and effectively as possible. In my search for her supplement du jour, I came across two products, made by different manufacturers: Undo and Redo. I have no idea what they did, but I imagined that one was the antidote for the other.

As for those drugs that assist with urinary symptoms, I think we're left with our imagination as to whether they would duke it out in a biochemical battle. First, women aren't even supposed to handle the drug for men, much less take it. And honestly, I think most men are a bit too squeamish about how things function 'down there' to entertain themselves by taking them both and seeing which one wins.

What an ugly battle that would be.

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