January 31, 2009

The Breakfast Invitation

I got up late this morning, and decided I would toss a load of laundry into the washing machine. When I went downstairs with my arms full of clothes. I was greeted at the bottom of the steps by the family cat, named Mouse.


"Hey, Mousie! You're right, it is a nice day."


"Yeah, me too. I was going to go to the convenience store and get coffee and one of those terrible breakfast sandwiches." I noticed that there was a spot on one of the shirts I was stuffing in the washing machine, so I grabbed the pre-wash and started spraying like there was no tomorrow.


"Wow, that's really sweet Mousie, but you know I prefer coffee and that sausage-egg-fat pill they sell at Holiday"


"No, I am not too good to eat with you... but there's a reason they call it "cat food" and not "cat and people food." Plus, there's something about eating something that is nothing more than fish-flavored Lucky Charms." I dumped the soap in and started the washing machine.


"Because you're a cat, that's why. I am not making salmon for breakfast, and if I did, I wouldn't be feeding you any of it. Anyway, you're supposed to like that stuff. You always eat it."


"That's cute. 'Screw you then, just feed me.'" I mocked his tone. "Meow meow meow, my ass. Whatever happened to 'please'?"

I grabbed a handful of cat food and threw it in the bowl. "There. You happy?"

What a whiner. I started up the stairs, but then I turned back.

"You know, Mouse, that bowl you're eating out of? It is a puppy bowl. Notice the little puppy paws on it?" I slammed the basement door.

Let's see how he enjoys his food now.

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